Bride Wants No-Show Guests to Pay for Missed Wedding Meals

A bride is contemplating imposing a penalty fee for guests who declined their wedding invitations at the last minute.

One wedding guest explained in a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” forum that she, along with her boyfriend and mother, initially RSVP’d “yes” to a couple’s wedding. The bride had told everyone she needed an accurate headcount to report to her caterer, who would charge her per plated meal.

Although the trio originally all said they’d “be able to attend,” only one of them actually showed up. The Redditor’s boyfriend had to skip the wedding due to “work scheduling issues” while her mother was “too sick.”

“The average cost of wedding catering was $80 per person,” according to 2024 internal data from The Knot. Although the bride in the Reddit post spent less than the national reported average, spending $50 per plate, that didn’t stop her from getting “upset” about losing $100 on two wasted meals, plus the meal fees of anyone else who was a no-show.

Now, the bride wants her money back.

“[She told me] she can’t believe they’re not coming when we RSVP’d,” the wedding guest wrote. “She told me she’s tempted to ask them to pay 50 dollars each for not coming! I was like what the hell nobody knew you were spending per plate?? They weren’t the only ones to miss her wedding either so maybe she was mad she lost out on the money.”

The wedding guest argues this is a “tacky” take from the bride because her Minnesota wedding required most guests to spend “a lot” of money to “fly in.”

Reddit users in the comments section agreed that the bride’s belief that guests should pay her for not attending her wedding is “rude.” However, many argued that it was “inconsiderate” and “super rude” to RSVP “yes” to a wedding and then flake out when it’s “common knowledge” that couples are typically charged per plate.

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“Obviously, she was spending per plate. That’s how food pricing works at weddings. That’s why you collect RSVPs,” one person commented in part.

“Most wedding venues require full payment several weeks to a month in advance. Everyone who RSVPs ‘yes’ and doesn’t show is money out the door for the host,” another Redditor said. “Venues do not issue refunds. I was out $700 because of no-shows at my daughter’s wedding. Legit reasons like illness or an emergency, ok, I understand. However, some of the excuses were flimsy and one was an out-and-out lie. I would never ask anyone for my money back, but guests ought to be aware that once they RSVP ‘yes,’ they ought to do their best to show up.”