Woman Fears Her New Boyfriend Is Just Using Her ‘for Fun’

A woman is worried that something is off about her current relationship — and she’s asking others for advice.  

In a post titled “Something’s not adding up,” on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet, the woman explained that she met her current boyfriend a little over a year ago, and that they were “off and on” for nine months before becoming official. 

She admires his “ambition and drive,” and they have mutual friends, “literally no one has a bad word to say about him — only good things,” she said.

The original poster (OP), who explained that she has a child, went on to add that she and the boyfriend live in separate homes, and that he comes over about three evenings a week — one of which is a sleepover.

“We have fun. [We] go on holidays, [go to] bars — even trips out with my child together,” she said, before adding, “But something in my gut tells me I’m just a bit of fun [to him] — I don’t know what it is.”

The majority of commenters advised the OP to sit down and have a candid conversation with her partner.

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“What would an ideal timeline for this relationship look like for you?” one person asked, adding,  “What commitment do you want from a boyfriend of four months (even though you have been dating longer)? Maybe he still sees it as a new relationship (which it is). You need to talk expectations and see if they are compatible with his.”

Someone else said, “It’s too early for him to move in with you (if this is that you have in mind). You have a child so you need to take things slowly and I suspect this is what he thinks, but talk to him.”

Others encouraged the OP to slow down and to remember that she’s only been official with this man for a few months.

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“It’s a really new relationship. I’d probably reduce the amount of time he’s at your place when your [child] is around. You don’t want them getting attached to someone who hasn’t yet committed,” a commenter said, adding, “Just enjoy it for the casual relationship it is! There’s nothing wrong with that!”